In addition, the most critical relationship that affects the psychological development of the child is the spouse relationship between the parents. Children feel 'safe' when they experience their parents as a couple who trust each other, resolve possible conflicts, and feel close to each other by showing love and understanding. Seeing the happiness of their parents makes the child feel loved. Children who grow up in peaceful and warm families become more loving and empathetic. Experiencing unity, togetherness, trust, love and closeness within the family ensures that children grow up in a spiritually healthy manner. In addition, seeing an exemplary couple relationship within their own family will reflect positively on their private lives in the future.
When children witness intense arguments, conflicts, insecurity, disconnection and miscommunication between their parents from an early age, they are psychologically injured. Unable to feel safe in the family, he experiences anxiety and fear. They may move away from the family with their sadness, anxiety and hopelessness. Emotional and behavioral problems such as bedwetting, nail biting, fears and worries, absenteeism and failure in classes, outbursts of anger, depression and suicide risk can inevitably be observed in children and adolescents. If parents hide their arguments from the child, children may have unrealistic expectations in their relationships as they get older. The impact of the argument on the child is related to how and how often it happens. If arguments are not frequent and if the couples can find a solution at the end of the discussion, this will bring benefits, not harm. This gives the child the message that even if the parents love each other, they can have disagreements and that their relationship will be positively affected and strengthened if this is resolved. During the discussion, the mother and father insulting each other, shouting, not listening to each other and resorting to violence damage the child's sense of trust.
Parents should never vilify each other against the child and should not force them to take sides . Violent fights and frictions between the mother and father may cause the child to become alienated from them over time and to seek happiness elsewhere, which he cannot find in the family environment. For this reason, the most precious legacy we can leave to our children is a happy couple relationship. A healthy spousal relationship is also what every adult wishes for their mental health and quality of life. The most important thing that spouses/parents should not forget in couple problems; By starting couples therapy, they may be taking an important step for themselves, their spouse, and their entire family. Spouses/parents, as the architects of the family, can create a happy future for themselves and their children with the change and development they will gain during the couple therapy process.