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How Should Children Be Approached During Puberty?

How Should Children Be Approached During Puberty?1- How old does the puberty period start and end at what age?

The beginning of the puberty period differs according to gender. On average, puberty Decays between the ages of 10-15 for boys and 9-13 for girls. Although 95% of the studies conducted indicate that puberty begins between these age ranges, it is also known that puberty begins earlier and later in the remaining 5%. Decembers.
It is observed that adolescence, which is the transition period from childhood to adulthood, continues until the age of 22-24. This corresponds to the age when academic life usually ends, business life begins and with these, taking responsibility is seen, leaving the supervision of parents. This shows us that taking material and spiritual responsibility in the family at a young age causes a person not to live outside the physiological development of adolescence.

2- What are the problems that arise during adolescence?
* There is conflict on the basis of the adolescent period. This conflict, so to speak, is in a state of war. It is a war aimed at personality structuring both from a hormonal point of view with physiological changes and from a psychological point of view. These internal and external conflicts also bring problems.
* The concrete thought content seen in childhood is now beginning to evolve towards abstract thinking. For example, concepts such as justice, conscience, morality begin to find meaning and fragility begins to increase with them. He also begins to see and interpret the events developing around him from different perspectives. With these interpretations, it is seen that emotional relationships, friend relationships and family relationships are given a new meaning.
• One of the biggest problems is that problem solving skills are insufficient against problems that arise emotionally. Although he detects what the problem is and knows how to solve it, he has difficulty making the planning properly. The lack of problem solving skills also puts families in a difficult situation. Especially since they are at school age, it is observed that by observing their peers in a natural social environment, they adopt the attitudes of their peers, which are called 'popular'. The model of their phone, the brands of the clothes they wear, even the brand of their parents' car and where they live become very important. At this point, the important thing is that rather than taking care of the family, social care should be taken so that this awareness can spread to all families.
* Sudden changes in emotions during this period are observed quite often in ups and downs. While he looks very happy, he can suddenly become extremely angry, it is considered how important even a pimple that can be seen as small is. Especially at this point, it would be more appropriate for the family to say sentences that 'make you feel understood', which is the most important key to adolescence, rather than giving advice such as 'oh, never mind, little pimples, what are you hanging out with'.

3- What should be considered during puberty?
* First of all, a period of adolescence with high self-confidence will also reduce possible conflicts to be experienced. One of the most important elements that increases self-confidence is to have a talent. It is important to create appropriate conditions so that a person can find out what he is capable of. A hobby (artistic or sports activity) that he will acquire will add additional value both as a social status and the environment in which he socializes will consist of peers who are engaged in activities for a certain purpose. This will also be a preventive activity for him to move away from risky behavior.
• During this period, parents begin to stay in the second plan. For the person, the group of friends has now come before the family. He thinks that every behavior of his parents is uncomfortable for him, that every word they say has a critical infrastructure.
• If possible, having a space of his own, having a room in the house where he will feel safe and see it as a harbor, will help him to spend time in his own space rather than spending time outside during periods of depression.
• There should be no pressure to get to know the friend environment, right and wrong concepts should be expressed by observing from a distance and without making him feel it. Of course, while doing this, it should also take into account the conditions of the period, and not lead to a possible generational conflict.

4- What does the adolescent feel, how does he want to act?
Thoughts change quickly during this period, which is sandwiched between childhood Decadence and adulthood. With this rapid change, there may also be differences in emotions and behaviors.
* If we evaluate it from the point of view of parents; he will think that they do not understand him, that his wishes are not valued and that he is still treated as a child.
* From an environmental point of view; he will think that he is not valued, that he is not loved enough and that he cannot get as much love as he wants from the person he wants,
• In internal processes; he will think that his body is ugly, that he will not succeed and that the future is full of hopelessness.
In fact, it will be enough to explain how having such pessimistic thoughts makes your behavior cycle so fast. And when a stormy sea stops, we still get the feeling that the boat is rocking. In adolescents, we also need to know that even if there is no storm outside, even a breeze is enough to capsize.

5- What are the mental problems and troubles that the adolescence period will bring?
* The most common mental problem during adolescence is depression. An advanced depressive mood can lead a person to suicide attempts.
* The frequency of eating disorders caused by liking your body is also too high to be denied. Either behaviors such as binge eating and then vomiting or not eating at all can be seen. No matter how thin he is, if there is a disorder in his body image, he will never see himself as having lost enough weight.
• Especially in recent years, we have seen that substance and alcohol use is also widespread in this age group.
* Obsessive-compulsive disorder, also called obsessive-compulsive disorder, is another mental disorder seen in this age December. In this disease, where there are extremes, it brings the functionality of the person to the point that it will deteriorate if it is not treated.
* Making incisions with a razor blade in order to show that your body is your own body and that you rule that body as you want, and having tattoos made without thinking are some of the possible situations. These should also be evaluated under the roof of behavioral disorder.

6- How can communication problems be solved in adolescence?
* Making them feel valued by their families is the first step of communication. If he does not feel valued, they feel more closeness to different people with whom he will feel valued. This can also cause negative behaviors to be done without thinking.
• They have the idea that the friendships in this period will last a lifetime. To have a critical attitude towards their life span would be a mistake in communicating.
• It is also very important for the family to directly express their support for him. He should know that no matter what happens, he will be there for you, that when he is in difficulty, he can overcome it together with his family, rather than counting on himself to solve problems on his own. When listening to him, advice and admonition should be avoided.
• Even the style of physical love we show towards them must change. Since adolescence is a period of independence, they do not want to see themselves treated like children.
• Communicating like an adult in front of you, there's to be a decision to be taken within the family in a household trivial, even in his mind to take him, and never even give themselves a task that performs this task is to research it in the family should make you feel important by saying she couldn't do it.
• The fact that mom and dad have a common language in their attitudes towards him is another important point. If the father does not give while the mother approves of something, or if the father rejects what he approves one day, the next day, this will create distrust towards the family, the way of communication will be closed.

7- Does the puberty period differ in girls or boys, that is, according to gender?
It differs both according to gender and according to social norms, it seems that in our society, those who are in the male adolescence period are mostly more rebellious and angry. This is due to the fact that they are raised more freely as a sexual identity.
The fact that being a 'man' at a very young age is associated with rebelliousness and power causes them to express it by reaching physical strength during adolescence as well.
The change in girls, on the other hand, often develops in the opposite direction compared to boys. They become more introverted than before the puberty period, there is difficulty in expressing repressed emotions. And this, again, is connected with the roles attributed to girls in childhood. It is observed that while boys can express their feelings comfortably, girls express them to a much more vicious group of friends in this regard.
The fact that physiological changes occur at different periods also causes them to experience social discrimination within their own gender. The thickening of the voice in men, which is observed with hormonal changes, the fact that hair growth occurs later than their peers, the growth in the chest seen in girls and the late menstrual period will evoke thoughts of lagging behind in their age groups.

8- Why is there a lot of conflict with the family during this period?
Parents who have a child who is in this period say that they never listen to themselves, that they are self-commanded, that they cannot have a say. The tulip era of the reign, which was in childhood, has now ended, and rebellions have surrounded the country all over the country. With the physical and spiritual change, the adolescent who realizes that he is also an individual can look at life with different ideas from the thoughts and ideas that his family has. We see this more in the children of parents who are trying to be under pressure, still trying to maintain their reign.

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